February 2012
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I am just awkward all the time.
So one of the other employees at the cafe was showing me where to take the dishes and it envolved taking a painfully long elevator ride. It was really quiet and I turned to him and said “has anyone ever told you that you look a lot like a young jack white?”. Then he just said “yep”. THAT’S ALL HE SAID. We spent the rest of the elevator ride in silence. I blame him for...
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kingcheddarxvii:
Everyone in Renaissance era paintings had such a knowing look on their face.
What do you know about me, naked lady
Why is your baby checking me out
Why does the dog have the face of a man
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I have a huge hole in the side of my tongue.
I’ve been talking funny, which is bad when you’ve just started your job. It sounds like I’ve had a stroke. The not being able to eat properly thing sucks too. Anything that causes pain while trying to ingest food can go to fucking hell.
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The reason my brother never tells me about girls.
Bro: Bye, see you later
Me: Where are you going?
Bro: I'm going to samankjtnlkjk.,.kjkljs house *mumble*
Me: Who?
Bro: My friend sams house
Me: I don't know him
Bro: I hang out with her all the time!
Me: WAIT. You hang out with "HER".
Bro: Yes....
Me: OHMYGOD WHAT'S SHE LIKE? WHAT DO YOU GUYS HAVE IN COMMON? WHAT DOES SHE LOOK LIKE? WHERE DOES SHE LIVE?
Bro: .........dude, I said she's my friend.
Me: You've never had a friend that's a girl, I call bullshit.
Bro: BYEEEEEEEEEE
